Haircuts: how to trim in style

Haircuts can be fraught but essential – just look at the DIY alternative. Photo by Chadmagiera

I feared the potential for carnage and chaos before I had chosen a barber. There were so many tantrums just waiting to be unleashed. That first excursion for a haircut is a memory that will live sharp in my mind forever.

Would I head to the traditional barbers on Henley High Street or the trendy place in Marlow? Or that crazy place in High Wycombe which feels more like an amusement arcade than a hairdresser?

Traditional barbers it was.

Saturday morning. A hot sunny day in July. Me and a fractious two-year-old in a crowded barber shop. Combs in disinfecting solution. Old men waiting quietly, reading The Sporting Life. I felt like warning them: get out now, while you still can, old fella. A two-year-old is about to blow. And blow he did.

Not immediately. When our turn came he allowed me to put him in the chair. To wrap a somewhat hairy cloak around him. Even to back away and re-take my seat (somewhat nervously).

But then the scissors appeared. Suddenly we were in Dante’s eighth circle of hell. The screams were enough to curdle a statue’s blood. The poor unfortunate chap with scissors in one hand and comb in the other was so shocked his jet black mohawk seemed to turn grey in a second.

Time for dad to step in and calm the panic-stricken child. This took five minutes, during which the hair snipper tutted and tapped his foot.

Round two. Boy on daddy’s lap. Barber approaches fearsomely for a second time.

More screams, only louder. Streaming tears on Alfie’s face. Strangers’ hair all over daddy. At this point, fearing that both son and father would be cut to ribbons were the barber to even attempt to cut any hair, we aborted our mission, daddy concluding that Alfie suited long hair.

The first haircut was far from a success. And now I have to take two of them to get their locks chopped.

But the experience is a very different one now. We have visited half a dozen establishments, and seem to have cracked it. We tried traditional, we tried fancy and we even tried crazy. But we settled on friendly. A small place, tucked away down a side street, run by an extremely nice lady called Nicola. She likes cutting kids’ hair. And she is geared up for it.

Disney movies play on a flatscreen TV (she has 150 titles – better than BA First Class), heaps of books, a fun multi-coloured chair, blue capes for boys, pink ones for girls (much appreciated by my daughter), sweets for good behaviour. And above all, a lovely, disarming and friendly manner. The kids are relaxed and happy. And so am I.

So, my advice for a successful trip for a haircut.

Find a small salon and get to know the staff. If your kids see you like them, they will too. Pick somewhere that has plenty of things that will distract them. Playing movies is a particular winner.

And one final tip. Don’t attempt to get the barber to cut your child’s hair with your little one on your lap. There’s nothing worse than getting covered in someone’s else’s hair.